A Story to Tell, My Testimony

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

For this is my testimony, a story to tell. I truly give God all the glory as this is all God given. God gave me this title many years ago during my youth ministry years as a youth pastor’s wife. My story is not how I had planned my life would have gone but God had far greater plans for me. I was married for 26 years and shortly after my mom went on to be with the Lord in 2010, my former spouse left me. He came back and we went through marriage counseling but then months later he left again this time for good and filed for divorce. Within a little over a year, I had lost my mom, my husband and the youth ministry, all of which I was very passionate about. I felt like Job but he went through much worse than I could have ever imagined.

We were youth pastors and when he left he resigned and I was soon experiencing what my mom had gone through. My dad had left my mom after 37 years of marriage and filed for divorce. My mom then came to live with us a few years later until she went on to be with the Lord. She was an incredible woman of faith. She fought the battle of cancer and her faith in God never wavered. I thank God for my mom. She helped me in more ways than she will ever know. When I went through my divorce, I had to totally lean on God. I remember just pressing into His Word and praying for hours and hours. My story is one that sadly is more common now days. See what the enemy meant for bad, God intended for good.

My story is not that different than any other ordinary person. My story is one that God gave me many years ago during my youth ministry years in which I had started a blog and wrote down all the messages God started to give me. It seemed He liked 2 or 3 am, that was the time most of the messages were given to me and I would write them down. I remember one night my friend and I were up at our church for our prayer meeting and after praying we got together and shared what the Lord had given us. He laid 3 things on my heart, one was a scripture from Ezekiel chapters 3 and 33, second was “A Story to Tell,” which I thought was a book, then lastly public speaker which I put a question mark by. As most people know me, I do not like to speak in front of people at all; I tend to get very nervous. I have no problem speaking in front of little kids but it was hard just to speak in the messages God gave me in front of our youth but I did and wow the Holy Spirit moved in an amazing way. Little did I know God’s plans for my life were starting to unfold and He was speaking to me. During the time of my youth ministry years, as God was not only giving me messages but visions through dreams. These visions were taking place. I then realized that the dream God gave me was real. I was having them quite often then they started to settle down. One week I had these dreams for about 3 nights in a row and I thought at the time it was the enemy trying to attack me. I shared the dreams with my husband at the time as they concerned him. The dreams were about him seeing someone else, the next night it was about him resigning as youth pastor and him leaving me the first time, then the third night was him leaving me and filing for divorce and me finding out that he was having an affair. God even gave me the person and her younger daughter in the dream but at the time I didn’t piece that part together. A year and a half later when things started happening, I began to realize the dreams were warning dreams from the Lord. When he left me and resigned then came back didn’t think much of the dream until he left me the last time and filed for divorce then the dreams came back to me very vividly. When I found out about the affair and who it was well the dreams were dead on. God gave me the dreams in the order that it all happened. I now realize it was not the enemy attacking me but God giving me these dreams as a warning.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” Ephesians 6:12.

The hardest part of the divorce for me was the fact that this was taking place when my son was getting married in April of 2012.  God had blessed us with a son and a daughter, truly blessings from the Lord. He also answered this mom’s prayer for godly spouses and so very thankful to God for them. I have been blessed with a beautiful daughter in love and their handsome precious son, my grandson Malakai, whom has brought such joy to our family, truly a blessing from the Lord and my amazing son in law, truly a blessing and a man of God. God has blessed our family more than I could imagine, He has given us a very blessed extended family and very thankful to God for that. I give Him all the praises because He so deserving of it.

I look back on my life and think of where I was at one time in my life and thank God He spared my life and gave me chance after chance. He never let go of me and I know that because I always felt this tugging at my heart especially after the kids were born I knew I needed to get back in church and I wanted our kids to be brought up in a Christian home. I wanted them to know the Lord like I did when I was a little girl. When the kids were toddlers we enrolled them in a Christian preschool which the directors started witnessing to us and asked us to come visit and so we did. It took a good year before we did so and that first visit we both loved it. We went back and I gave my heart to the Lord, my ex-husband gave his life to the Lord months later right at the beginning of the new year. It was amazing and from then on our lives were changed. God moved in so many ways and began to use us. We started working with the youth. God led us to a new church in a town right by where we lived and we got involved in that church. I was a Missionette teacher and we also were just starting to get involved in the youth ministry but God had other plans for us. My former husband had this job opportunity come up in St. Louis, close to where his dad lived and it was very timely as his dad was diagnosed with cancer and was in the last stages so was not given much time to live. After much prayer, we both heard from the Lord and it was yes for him to take the job and we were to move. God would provide the home and He did just that all in one weekend when we went house hunting. Amazing how things fall into place when you rely on God and leave it all in His hands and truly trust Him. He had this all planned out from the very beginning. It was hard on my son who was in middle school at the time and was also 12 years old and not to mention was a little on the quiet side. He was not happy to hear the news as he was leaving all his friends that he grew up with. My daughter was the more outgoing one and very sociable so I wasn’t too worried about her because she made friends very easily. She had no problem with the news, it was hard for her to leave her friends but she knew we had prayed about this. God led us to find a church fairly quickly and then we got involved. I was involved as a girls Missionettes teacher, taught Sunday School for a bit then began to teach Little Kids church on one Sunday a month, then we felt the call to become youth sponsors. We approached our youth pastors and they both prayed and said yes. Then later our youth pastor had approached my ex-husband (my husband at the time) and asked him if he had been called into ministry because God was speaking to him and asking him to approach him about this calling.  My ex-husband did tell him yes that God had started speaking to his heart about this matter and later on he took the steps to get credentialed. As our kids grew, it was our daughter’s last year in youth as my ex-husband was made youth pastor; we had been the interim youth pastors a couple times before being made the official youth pastors for our church which led to many amazing adventures. God truly blessed our youth ministry. During that time we took yearly Mission Trips within our country, did fundraising for Missions Trips and Youth Camps, activities for the kids. We outgrew our room and had to knock out a wall to enlarge the youth room which was awesome. God was moving in our youth group and their lives. I don’t regret those years because lives were changed. 

My daughter then got married and shortly after her marriage, my mom was diagnosed with T-Cell Lymphoma cancer which was a very aggressive type of cancer and she was in the third stage. It was all very devastating to us and Bill was already having trouble with his knee which the doctors were looking at him having a full knee replacement. As time went by the oncologist put her on the highest form after trying one chemo then a test trial which wasn’t working and her cancer was getting bigger but had not yet spread so they put her on the highest chemo for that type which was a very aggressive chemo as well and one she would have to be in the hospital to have for 3 days. I was a substitute teacher during this time which was great because it allowed me to be with mom, take her to treatments and stay at the hospital with her. We made several trips back to hospital as we were told that would happen and it was common. It seemed she would go a week and a half then have to go back to the hospital for another stay for at least 2 or 3 days then we would get to go home. At the end of treatment mom was feeling much better so we were hopeful and had been praying for a miracle from the Lord but later on we would find out news that she only had months to live that the chemo had reduced it but then it grew back and this time much larger and had spread which was not good. My sister was with my mom at the time of the news as I was at youth camp and received the news. I was a mess when I heard the news so it was hard for me to hold it together during worship and our youth camp and my youth group all prayed over me and for my mom. When I got home my mom had wanted to go back to Arkansas to stay and be buried there when the time came as she was only given 2 to 4 weeks to live. We left the next week for Arkansas as my sister drove up and met us half way and I left with my mom and sister as my ex had to work. The kids said their goodbyes as well knowing this may be the last time they saw their grandma alive. Hospice was brought in and shortly afterwards we saw the decline and mom passed went onto be with the Lord on Friday morning, July 2^nd, 2010 in her sleep. My mom had always said that was how she wanted to go and God granted her that desire. She was peaceful with everything. When my mom got the news, she cried but then she accepted that she was going to be with Jesus. She had such faith and strength through it all. That is what helped inspire me when the storms really hit hard. It is hard not having either parent around when trials come and you really are unsure who to talk to. I was blessed with a close friend that God used in an incredible way to minister to me as she had went through a divorce many years prior and very similar to my story but her kids were young at the time. She ministered to me and was there for me during that very difficult time. I look at what God has done for her now and it is truly amazing. God brought an amazing man of God into her life in which they got married and so truly blessed. Praise be to God for all He has done and is continuing to do in our life! Keep praising Him no matter good or bad, He is in control.

I don’t regret what all I went through because God did an amazing work in me in which I am going to share. I give God all the glory for this is all for Him. Without Him I would not be where I am today. I am thankful for the storms in my life because they have made me who I am today. I pray that as I share what God has laid upon my heart to write that this encourages others and motivates others to take that leap of faith as I have done so. My prayer is that this would help save those who are struggling in their marriage or relationship, help those who are single, those who are battling depression, loneliness, and help those who are facing trials in their life. Whatever you are facing may God help use this to meet you where you are in life. God bless you and may God’s peace be with you.

What God has done in my life is truly amazing. I have been blessed that God has placed special people in my life to minister to me and help me to grow. The Holy Spirit is moving in my life in incredible ways and I am truly blessed and thankful for His Holy Presence in my life. May this blessing from the Lord inspire you in your journey in life. Maybe you are experiencing something similar to this or maybe you are going through divorce now, keep the faith and keep seeking God in all of it. He is in control. Keep your focus on the Lord and give Him all your burdens. He has you in the palm of his hand.

 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2).

“The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore” (Psalm 121:7-8).